hey angelsss,

When I was younger, I wasn’t just dreaming of becoming an author. I was convinced. Not as some vague idea, but as a real plan. I already pictured my name on book covers, myself signing copies, and reading out chapters of my novels to a crowd

how it started

That “plan” stayed with me for many years (as many as a 15-year-old can have, lol). I started so young that I couldn’t even write yet. So I’d draw pictures and have my mom write down the words I told her. Later, when I finally learned how to write, I began making short stories. I still have stacks of glued-together pages filled with my drawings and words. I’d even say beside dancing, writing was my passion. And that stayed until today.

right now

I still love writing, even if I’m not working on a novel right now. I could be. I’ve got countless ideas and many half-finished projects. But I’ve realized something about myself: I have the creativity and the talent, but I also get bored easily. And a whole book isn’t just writing. It’s plotting, planning, correcting, rewriting. It’s a lot of energy for one long-term project that might just end up forgotten in some dusty folder on my laptop. Right now, I’d rather put my energy into blog posts or poems. Still, if I ever do go back into writing a book, you’ll definitely hear about it.

I don’t regret all those unfinished projects one bit though. They hold memories. Every time I reread them, I remember things I might have forgotten otherwise. It’s like a part of me lives in those words.

sneak peak

Today, I want to share a few little sections from the “real” novels I once started. One I originally wrote in German, which I later translated and the other in English. If you’re curious, keep on reading!

1st: prologue out of a yet untitled book

“And what shall become of my daughter now?” she whispered, her trembling voice scarcely louder than a whisper.
“She shall be banished. What other fate could there be?” With quiet compassion, he laid a hand upon her shoulder. To his surprise, she did not recoil. “It pains me to say it, yet she is a danger to us all.”
“You cannot take my child from me!” she cried, tears streaking her once flawless face. “She is but a baby!”
“I am sorry, Your Majesty. But neither you nor I hold the power to change what has been decreed.”
Her strength faltered. She collapsed to her knees, bitter sobs wracking her frame, and buried her face in her hands. The queen, once so radiant, so unyielding, seemed now fragile, small, and undone.
Her head bowed forward, and her crown of purest diamonds and finest gemstones slipped from her hair. It struck the floor and shattered into a thousand glittering shards, like a fallen star cast down from the heavens...

This is the translated version. Part of a fantasy novel about a girl who was banished from her world as a child and finds her way back many years later. Along her journey, she uncovers her true family history, encounters ancient legends, awakens magical abilities, and even falls in love. For this book, I actually plotted out almost the entire story, but I never felt truly passionate about writing it into a full novel.

„Und was soll nun aus meiner Tochter werden?“, fragte sie mit bebender Stimme, die kaum lauter war als ein Flüstern.
„Nun, verbannt wird sie. Was für eine Frage!“ Mitfühlend legte er ihr die Hand auf die Schulter. Unerwartet ließ sie die Berührung zu. „Es schmerzt mich, dies auszusprechen, doch sie ist eine Gefahr für unser ganzes Volk.“
„Ihr könnt mir doch nicht mein Kind wegnehmen!“, rief sie, Tränen rannen über ihr sonst so makelloses Gesicht. „Sie ist doch nur ein kleines Kind!“
„Es tut mir leid, Majestät. Doch weder Ihr noch ich vermögen daran etwas zu ändern.“
Da brach sie zusammen, bitterlich weinend, sank auf die Knie und vergrub ihr Antlitz in den Händen. Die einst so anmutige, beinahe unerschütterliche Königin wirkte plötzlich zerbrechlich, schwach und klein.
Ihr Haupt sank nach vorn, und dabei löste sich die Krone aus reinen Diamanten und den herrlichsten Edelsteinen von ihrem Haar. Sie fiel zu Boden und zersplittere in tausend funkelnde Teile, wie ein Stern, der vom Himmel stürzt…

This is the original version I wrote about 3-4 years ago.

2nd: chapter 23 from my book eclipse

Only 5 Minutes left. I rushed to the fitting room for a last time before the play would begin. I was so nervous, so nervous but I loved being on stage. Once I was out there, all my fear vanished and the only thing I focused on was acting, the music, the lights dazzling me. Just the moment. My problem was the previous minutes. They were always the worst.
I could have screamed right then. And I would have been if there weren’t so many people sitting and watching the still empty stage. But the audience was already filling the seats. Peeking through the curtain, I saw much more people than there were last year. My mom was there, chatting excitedly with my grandma and aunt. I spotted Juna, Ivy and Fiona, laughing and showing each other something on their phones. I saw Yunho’s brother, scrolling on his phone. I saw Yunho’s dad, holding a digital camera as if he hadn’t been this ready for something in his life ever. And I saw his mom, telling his brother to put away the phone. And I saw all the other people. My heart began racing.
I stumbled back into the fitting room, my head dizzy, my sight slightly blurry. My arm reached for the wall behind me. But there was no wall. Instead I felt two hands grabbing me. Warm hands. I noticed a scent too. A mixture of wood and cinnamon and rain. I knew this smell. And I knew the eyes I looked into as my sight got clearer again. 
“Are you alright?” 
Oh and that voice was familiar too. I slowly backed off and shook my head, my hands, my legs. My feet carried me around the room. Not sure if consiuosly or subconsiouly. Round one, two, two and a half… I tried to calm myself, but Yunho grabbed my arm.
“Malina, calm down,” he said, his eyes trying to hold mine. “It’s just a play. You can do this, you’re brilliant”, he said with a soft look in his eyes, still holding my arm. He didn’t even let go when I looked down at his hand. I waved my arms, panicking. He definitely knew what he was doing.
“What if…”, I started.
“Stop. No what ifs” He let go of my arm and grabbed my hand instead.
“Woah, don’t pass out please, I still need you” He slightly bent his back and turned his head in my direction. Oh he knew what he was doing. He knew.
The odd thing here was though, that I actually felt less nervous with every second of him standing in front of me and holding my hand. I felt my heartbeat slowing down.
“Better now?”, he asked. I nodded.
“Way better” I took a deep breath. “How do I look?”
After this question of mine his look suddenly changed. His eyebrows rose and the left corner of his mouth lifted. “Angelic”, he whispered. I giggled, breaking eye contact for a second. Time felt frozen, stretching like chewing gum. But the clock reminded me: one minute left. Yunho was in the first scene.
“We… gotta go, don’t we?” My voice wavered. 
“You’re right but…” he stepped closer, his eyes still locked on mine.
“Let me do one thing first, okay?”…

Okay, I think we can all imagine what went down between Malina and Yunho in that moment before the play began. Overall, I really like this plot. A love story between two actors. It’s partly inspired by real people I know, though of course not everything in the story actually happened.

final thoughts

I hope you enjoyed these little sneak peaks from my stories. I wonder if I am ever going to pick up these yet unfinished novels again.
XOXO,
Leona 💋💋